Connecting with Holden

I can connect with Holden, as well as Mr. Toland, with losing someone at a young age. In fourth grade, both of my grandmas passed away within four or five months of each other. One was sudden while the other was expected, but it didn't take away the hurt. My brother was in second grade and probably couldn't fully understand the gravity of the situation so it wasn't as big of a deal to him if I cried or not. But the one thing I do remember that I always will is seeing my dad cry at his mom's funeral. I had always thought of my dad as a big, burly, nothing-can-scare-me guy. But when I saw him cry, it helped me to think that it was okay to cry too. But then as I though about it, it made me not want to. Because then I wouldn't be perceived as strong or not distracted by emotions, like who I grew up thinking my dad was. But as I got older, I realized you're not perceived as weak or being overly sensitive if you cry at a funeral or anything else traumatic in life. It's normal, part of the grieving process.

But now I see why Holden is so anti-social, if you will. It's a hard thing to go through, especially that young. You're not young enough that it doesn't affect you, yet you're not old enough to try to be stone-faced about everything. He has the feelings of being alone because he has been alone, without a little brother, for many years. It's almost as if he's built up a shell to make sure he doesn't get hurt again, or at least as bad as in the past which may be why he's so callous towards some things and very sensitive to others.